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Time For Humor

From The American Horologist and Jeweler magazine, July, 1946

Time For Humor

Lunch Time-Piece

The applicant for a job hauling freight coast-to-coast was asked if he was acquainted with the several time zones.

"Sure am," he replied, "And I'm prepared, too! In my left-hand pocket I carry a watch for Eastern Standard time. In my right-hand pocket I carry a watch for Central time. On my left wrist I carry a watch for Rocky Mountain time. On my right wrist I carry a watch for Pacific Coast time.

And in my hip pocket I carry a big old size-18 hunting case!" "What do you carry that one for" he was asked.

"My lunch is in it," replied the applicant, "A guy gets hungry keeping track of all those watches!" 

-- Ted Douglas

* * * 

"Look, darling, here is a diamond engagement ring for you." "Oh, it it's beautiful. But, Honey, the diamond has a flaw in it!" "You shouldn't notice that. You're supposed to be in love-and love is blind!"

"Yes-but not stone blind!"

Floor Minutes Past Four!

Junior was playing watchmaker with the grandfather clock in the hall when his mother called from the kitchen, "Junior, what time is it?"

"I don't know exactly, Mom," replied Junior, "The little hand is on four, and the big hand is on the floor."
-- Ted Douglas

* * *

"I know he's the man for me, Mother. Every time he takes me in his arms, I can hear his heart pounding."

"Better be careful daughter. When your father was courting me, I was fooled for a year by his dollar watch!"

A Losing Battle!

The elevator pilot in an office building grew weary of repeated requests for the time. At last he put up a shelf in the corner of his elevator and placed a small clock on it. That stopped people from asking the time. Now they ask, "Is your clock right?"

* * * 

"Isn't it time he finished?" the weary pew-holder whispered as the preacher talked on and on.

"Time!" replied his companion, bitterly, "Time!" He's exhausted time and encroached upon eternity! 

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