Classic watches, watchmaking, antique tools, history, vintage ephemera and more!

Learn about mechanical timepieces and how they work, the history of the American watch industry and especially all about the Elgin National Watch Company! Check back for new content daily.

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Time For Humor

From The American Horologist and Jeweler magazine, October, 1946

Time For Humor

His Mistake

The man who dropped his watch on the cement pavement took it to a jeweler to be repaired. In explanation of the condition of the watch, he said, "I am to blame, of course. I shouldn't have dropped it." 

"You couldn't help that," the jeweler replied. "The mistake you made was in picking it up." 

It's Enough to Give A Man Insomnia!

Not long ago an old gentleman came into my store, and laying down a pocket watch (a hunting movement in an open face case) asked, "Can you fix this watch so it will be all right for me to wind it at night before I go to bed?"

I looked at the watch and assured him it was a good watch, and that he could wind it at any time he wished.

"Are you sure?" he asked When I told him I was, he continued, "Well, I had the case changed not long ago, and the fellow who changed it said that it would wind at 3 o'clock-and it's a darned nuisance having to get up and wind it at 3 0 'clock all the time!

- W. L. Decker

And It Was, Too!

Two Irishmen, Pat and Mike, came over from Ireland together, and started to work on the same job in New York.

After a few paydays Pat bought a new watch; Mike was very anxious to see the new watch, and going up to Pat, he said: "Pat, what time is it?" Pat, not wanting Mike to know that he couldn't tell the time, pulled out the watch and showed it to Mike and blurted out.

"There it is!" Mike, not being able to tell time, gazed at the watch for a minute and said: "Well, I'll be dammed if it ain't!" 

Quick, Call a Cop!

Washington. - Two Georgia policemen attending an FBI training school in crime detection have some home work to do.

Sgt. Leonard J. Hallman of Savanah police and State Trooper John W. Robertson of Hinesville reported that a sneak thief ransacked their room, taking cash, two watches and other valuables.

Well, Why Didn't He Say So?

The following well serves as an example of how watch parts should not be ordered:

Swartchild and Company, Inc., of Chicago, Illinois, received an order from a Midwest watchmaker. The order consisted of a crude drawing of a watch, next to which was written: "I want the piece that holds down the wheel that winds the wheel that winds the watch. 

This piece has two screw holes. 

It was finally decided that what the customer had ordered was a "crown wheel washer." 
- Sue Conlan 

A Hair Raising Story!

A watch repairman in a small shop came to work one morning an hour and a half late.
The boss was irate. "How come you're so late?" he asked, gruffly.

"Couldn't help it," the man replied, "I was getting my hair cut." 

"Getting your hair cut!" the boss bellowed, "You mean to say you got your hair cut on the company's time?" 

"Certainly!" came the reply, "After all-it grew on the company's time, didn't it?"

* * *

That old story about the salesman trying to sell a CLOCK to a hill-billy by saying it would run eight DAYS without winding, and then being asked how long it would run if it was wound, brings to mind the case of a Chinese soldier in Seattle for some flying instruction. Never having seen a WATCH before, he decided to buy one.

The next DAY he brought it back, telling the jewelry clerk, "WATCH no good. No tickee." The clerk explained to him that in order for a WATCH to run, it would have to be wound every DAY.

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